Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
