Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
