Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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