help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
