Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
