can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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