I could have mohawked her pubes.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
