I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
