is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I know her cup size but not her name....
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
