This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
