So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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