Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
