How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize