I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
