she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
