I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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