i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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