I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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