Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
