How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
