do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
