I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
