But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize