I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
