Pregnant stripper...not hot.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
