***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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