After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
