my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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