I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize