someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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