Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize