The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
