i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
