Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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