I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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