HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I need a beard to bite.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
