i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
