I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
