wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
