I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
