Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
