Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
