is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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