dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
