You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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