Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How naked do you want me to be?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
