Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
