I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
