Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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