i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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