you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
