that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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