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Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
