Is it because I queefed?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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