Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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