yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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