this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
