Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
