Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
