Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
