you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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