It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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