just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
