my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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