I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
