You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
